No Longer Numb
by sue9292
Summary: Draco has never truly felt anything before. He sees in black and white and thought he always would...but the new girl seems to taint everything with colour and now he's starting to feel. But he doesn't want to. Or does he? BETTER THAN SOUNDS DM/OC


Have you ever been numb. Seeing yourself being hurt but not feeling it. Ever.

?

What if you had always been numb?

?

Draco Malfoy boarded the train to Hogwarts for his last year. Voldemort was gone and his family was now free. Technically. But Draco's feelings were caged still, broken and beaten, lying on the floor of their confines, no fight left, no hope of escape. He was just a shell really, empty. He walked he talked but it wasn't real. Nothing was anymore.

Even with Voldemort gone Draco's world was so so dark. Black and white was all he saw. He felt nothing and no one was there to try and make him feel anyway.

No one cared.

His parents were so tied up trying to help the Malfoy name gain some power again that he doubted they even knew he was still living with them anymore.

Draco settled himself alone as nearly all of his former friends had not come back for their last year. Only he, Blaise and Pansy were left. But he was not friends with them, they were both self obssessed and it annoyed Draco very much hearing Blaise yell about how the wind messed up his hair or Pansy complain about her make-up running in the rain.

He was alone and that way he didn't have to pretend to care about anything. Because he truly didn't.

His soul was disappearing, that part of you that gives emotion and power to your body.

If he closed his eyes there it was, now a small shining light in the distance...moving further and further away from his sight. But now he found he didn't care. That part of him made him hurt all over, this way he had found his own restless place inside himself and was going to stay there. Away from the pain of life.

Looking out of the window the sky was grey and the fields speeding past were dark, the sun could not be seen by Draco...but then again even when other people were basking in it's warmth Draco felt nothing...nothing at all. He never truly had.

He'd never lived. For as long as he could remember he'd seen other people feel powerful emotions but had never experienced any of them. Except a little anger, that twinge that pierces your heart. He felt that when he saw The Golden Trio, when he argued with them.

He felt in his dreams though...no not dreams...nightmares. He was in the darkness, dark everywhere and all he wanted was to see the light, there were voices, strange, dangerous voices which made him cower. They were becoming more frequent. And every time he woke up covered in sweat, shaking. And then when morning came there was nothing again...

He didn't really want to go back to Hogwarts, but he suspected that if he hadn't his parents would have thought he had anyway and stop buying food because they always ate out, Draco didn't want to starve. He'd choose something a lot faster...

The sky was darker now, that ment he were nearly at his destination. Noticing this Draco stood and put on his Slytherin robes, knowing the green snake on them would get him into trouble this year.

He got out of his compartment before the train had even began to slow down and stood next to one of the doors, as soon as the train slowed down enough he flung it open and jumped down, getting to a carriage before Hagrid had even began to call out fo the first years. He was the first one to the castle and settled himself at the smallest table. Slytherin.

Soon everyone was filing in, shooting glares Draco's way. Which he ignored, all he saw were eyes looking at him, he didn't feel remorse or guilt or fear at their stares. He just saw it happening, he didn't feel it.

He glanced at all the students filing in, they either had light or dark hair, because all he saw was black and white remember.

Finally when Blaise was sitting opposite him and Pansy to his left Dumbledore began to start his same old speech, finishing as the doors opened again and a line of children came through, but at the end of the line was a girl almost twice the height of some of said children.

Draco's eyes did a double take...

He was seeing her in colour. He squinted his silvery eyes against the bright colours...amazingly blue eyes...startlingly golden curly locks of hair.

He blinked a few times and Felt.

He felt a small shiver, he often shivered, always a little cold but this was different somehow. It was confusing and he felt dizzy, he put a hand to his forehead and closed his stinging eyes.

He expected to be back to normal when he opened them tentatively again but...now it was worse...the stone under her feet was in colour aswell.

Like she tainted everything she touched.

He watched her stop, she was biting her lip and looking around nervously.

Wait. How did he know that she was nervous? He didn't know things like that! How can you know someone elses feeling when you don't even know your own?

He felt dizzy again, the world was moving but he was not. What in Merlin's name was going on?

Putting his head into his hands he ignored Pansy's high-pitched question about if he was okay and tried desperately to block everything out.

Being well practised in this soon all the noise of the hall faded away into silence, wonderful silence, then was the smell of the wood and Blaise's stong cologne mixed with Pansy's awful flowery perfume.

He let out a small sigh, now feeling more in control as he let go and returned to the now quitened hall to watch the sorting.

She was still in colour!

He desperately tried not to look at her and instead stared intensely at the sorting hat, drowning out everything else. One by one he watched the new first years sit on the stool and have the large hat placed on their tiny heads, he heard the shouts of different houses...all but his own. Obviously.

Then it was her turn, his eyes betrayed him and watched and heard a shout of

"SLYTHERIN!"

ring through the hall. Silence. For a moment Draco thought it was just him. But no. It was everyone. The girl glanced around, scared at this reaction and Dumbledore directed her towards his table. She walked slowly towards the three Slytherins, looking worriedly at everyone.

Finally she turned away from them and sat down next to Blaise just as the plates filled and the noise went back to normal.

Blaise, Pansy and Draco looked at her sceptically.

"Hi. I'm Liv. Liv Taylor. Why are there only four of us in this house?" She tentatively introduced herself.

"Because most parents in this house were deatheaters and no one from our house wanted to come back to face the rest of the students for simply being here. I'm Blaise Zabini. Pleasure to meet you..." Blaise explained smoothly, taking her hand and placing a light kiss on it when he finished.

Draco watched her blush a little. Blaise had that effect on a lot of girls.

"Nice to meet you Blaise." She replied politely, smiling shyly. Draco frowned, how did he know that was a shy smile?

"I'm Pansy Parkinson" Pansy explained, looking quite like she expected Liv to beg to be her friend.

"Nice to meet you Pansy" Liv greeted with a nod, holding out her hand to shake, Pansy took it lightly and shook it once before dropping it and Draco saw her turn to him expecting and introduction.

"Draco Malfoy." He said simply putting food on his plate. It took him a moment to realise she had her hand out for him to shake aswell. His arm moved of it's own accord and took her hand but they both swiftly pulled back as a shock ran up his arm, he shook it, looking at her for a reaction, she was staring at her hand in surprise and glanced up at him before saying

"Static I suppose"

And then started to eat.

Soon they had all finished and dessert replaced it. Draco looked up to see Liv gasp in sudden delight at he brightly coloured sweet things. Yet again...how did he know it was delight.

"It's a wonder why I'm not the size of a house with how much junk I eat" Liv commented lightly, chuckling as she got a large slice of pumpkin pie.

Blaise was looking at her, seeming to be amused by her.

Oh Merlin it was spreading...It wasn't just her now.

Pansy smiled but it fell straight off of her pug like face as Liv looked away.

Jealously. Draco realised, he grimaced. He didn't want to know these things!

But he couldn't help but think...I know why you're jealous Pansy...you have to go on all those diets don't you...and she doesn't, she can eat whatever she wants.

His eyes were dragged back to Liv as she looked around the hall with interest.

"So what makes the houses different?" She suddenly asked curiously.

"Well in Slytherin we're sly...cunning...and in my case amazingly handsome. Gryffindor is brave and loyal. Ravenclaw is smart. Hufflepuff is nice basically and that's it." Blaise explained, flashing her a grin. She smiled but when he turned back to his plate she mouthed to Draco 'vane much?'. It gave him a sudden maddening urge to...smile. He forced it back down like bile in his throat and went back to eating. That dizzy feeling was returning quickly.

Soon dinner ended and Snape approached the four students.

"Welcome to Slytherin Miss Taylor." He greeted her before continuing.

"Due to the fact that the teachers as a whole are worried for all of your safety you will for the fore-seeable future be sharing a dorm...for protection. Also the password will be changed on a bi-weekly basis, the first is 'immunity'. I suggest you get going. The Gryffindors are looking quite shiftly." He finished and was gone with a swish of robes and a nod.

Liv glanced around nervously. Oh for the love of-

"Where's Slytherin then?" She asked, standing quickly. Draco looked in the direction her gaze had been and saw a large group of Gryffindors looking at them. He felt fear from her tone of voice and both hated the fact that he knew that and that the Gryffindors were making her feel it to begin with.

He stood with an in-audible groan. It was going to be a very long year...


End file.
